EXCLUSIVE: Saddams last blog entry prior to capture

Saddamblog 8pm: modest hiding chamber, outside Tikrit
Dear true believers
This may be my last post to the Saddamblog. The infidels are at the gate, I can smell their bacon and ham products coming nearer. An American is yelling in the distance “2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese…”. Praise be to Allah. The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and me, and strive with might and main for mischief through chanting fast food slogans is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, says the Quran 5:33.
Praise be to Allah.
They are moving closer now, what should I do Allah? The French have promised me asylum, but I do not like them, for it is only a matter of time until the US Infidels invade them. I have been offered asylum in Vermont and a Presidential Pardon from Howard Dean, but Im not so sure…
Praise be to Allah.
Perhaps if I can escape I may disguise myself as the Western evil one Santa Claus? I could give small western infidels poison for Christmas, and some WMD’s down the chimney.
Praise be to Allah.
I hear them above me now, and I here somebody chanting the Quran 2:143 “We have made you a just nation, so that you may testify against mankind and that your own Apostle may testify against you.” The end is nigh
AAAAAHHHH! They have thrown Bacon down the entrance to my modest hiding chamber! I am doomed, it has landed on my armoury and I must not go near it. More music now “I’m a Yankee doodle dandy” Allah they are playing Danny Kaye music, help me Allah, I have become a character in a Tom Clancy novel!
Praise be to Allah.