Google to catalog human genome, and create super humans

Filed as Uncategorized on November 28, 2005 8:06 am

by Duncan

Google is teaming up with Craig Venter (of human genome mapping fame) to use Google’s vast computing power to help unlock biology’s mysteries and to create a new Google super human, who will automatically be Adwords/ Adsense aware, and have all Google advertising catered for their specific super-human needs.

According to Venter:
‘‘Working with Google, we are trying to generate a gene catalog to characterize all the genes on the planet and understand their evolutionary development.’’

What he forgot to mention to Boston.com, where we found this story, is what Google plans to do with this technology, which a Google insider told us was part of the plan for Google world domination.

“Why stop at the internet when you can control the human race” said the insider. “Imagine being able to provide a search engine that can not only catalog all of humanity, but also make a genetically superior world as well”.

Google was unavailable for comment.

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  1. By John Evans (SYNTAGMA) posted on November 28, 2005 at 9:16 am
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    I know it’s satire, but satire often gets close to the truth. Google is begining to sound more like the fanatical interferers of the European Union every day. They should be aware that if you extend a digit too far into the real world, it tends to get cut off.

  2. By Anthony posted on November 29, 2005 at 5:47 pm
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    Nice Duncan. Nice.

    John, that’s the entire idea of satire to get close to the truth. To cut someone but not so they bleed or to throw stones at their windows but not wanting them to break ;)

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