However, I think many of us welcome comments, even if they are critical, so I remember that, and take a step back – away from the computer. Usually when I return, the comment isn’t really as negative as I first thought. And even if it is, I can usually respond with a comment of my own that agrees to disagree.

As a result I have only ever deleted one comment that was blatantly offensive and added nothing to the conversation.

Now, digg is another story. You just have to accept that tons of commentors are going to rake you over the coals no matter what you say…! That might be some good practice to learning to detach emotionally from posts and negativity.

Some people are intellectually gifted with the ability to deliver a quick and witty comeback in response to a personal put down without feeling the slap. I envy them.

Because I’m an introvert the most difficult part of blogging for me has been speaking up at all and learning to answer forum questions well has been a tremendous challenge.

Toughening up and developing the calluses required to be able to withstand being smacked down publicly is what I’m struggling with right now. Hence your post resonates with me and I thank you for making it.

At first I engaged my heckler and tried to be reasonable but after several comments and e-mails (initiated by him) I both removed his comments and blocked him from my site. I have a feeling he still reads me by RSS but I kind of feel sorry for him more than anything.

And while I’m here, let me say that I love reading you both here and on your personal site.

Then there is the issue of our reaction to negative or horrid comments, and how we respond to such comments.

As for the issue of a truly personal attack, and whether you know them or not, that depends upon the relationship you have with that person. Not knowing them, the delete button is always close at hand. Knowing them, you have other options.

This post was about our response to such comments. The issues of why others leave such comments is for another article. ;-)

I totally agree.
If you want to develop a thick skin, post something contentious and then have it Dugg. Read in the comments and begin wallowing in all that delicious fan-boy hate! :D

No, seriously — excellent topic brought up by Lorelle, here.

If you’re blogging for others (i.e. not a journal style for yourself and loved ones) then I think you *have* to be prepared for negative comments, and some that may not even be constructive.

I think there’s a spectrum of feedback. From the positive constructive feedback bordering on adulation, all the way to negative personal, ad-hominem attacks.

If it gets serious, you can always delete comments if they violate your own sense of what a comments policy ought to be; on the other hand, if they’re not that flagrant, I think you just have to be prepared for these kinds of comments.

At the end of the day, I do try and disengage myself from stuff that I write, although its hard to remain completely disengaged.

This is the blogosphere after all, and cheap shots and ad-hominem attacks are something we should all be prepared for — and ultimately not take to heart.

I think the better question, Lorelle, is what you would do if someone you already *knew* decided to leave a bit of a rancorous reply? What if that person wasn’t anonymous, or someone you didn’t know?

Cheers
tony

I had an article appear on Digg several months ago. It got hundreds of Diggs. Unfortunately, I made the mistake and started to read the Digg comments. Very nasty and destructive. I shrugged my shoulders, shook my head, stopped reading and moved on to my next writing project. I suggest the same approach.

However, I am genuinely staggered that a comment actually moved you to tears.

I always though this blogging lark was supposed to be a bit of fun.

Remember, just because they’re all out to get you doesn’t mean you’re paranoid :-)

So I feel that just because someone disagrees with you is no reason to quit on something in fact listening to a view point opposed to your own is often a good chance for you to grow.