Deep thinkers are fast becoming a rarity in our modern world. You would think this to be a good thing – for the “deep thinkers” that is. Rarity usually means “high demand”. Alas, I think not in this case.

Having been in Technology since leaving school some 23 years ago, in theory, I should be a true proponent of it. However, I am ambivalent toward it.

Where technology clearly delivers time and labour-savings I am thrilled by it. (Well, not literally but you know what I mean.) Yet, when we make these huge time savings and it was notionally to increase our QUALITY of LIFE (hopefully as measured by spending more time with people and activities that we love), what do we do with that time? Give it up to more technology of course!

So, I would agree with you. For me, I would rather have 2, 3 or 4 friends that I know deeply, intimately, any day than have a hundred people that I dupe myself into calling “friends” (as nice and as pleasant as they are).

Live life. Love Life. Always.

Mark

Culture enters the picture too. What one culture finds close another might more distant . . . that’s what I can’t seem to say right.

This was sort of what I was trying to get at when commenting on your blog only did I not put it as well as you nor distill my thoughts so clearly beforehand which probably made me chose the wrong starting point.

It is a matter of depth in relation to time, but also as part of my point was, in relation to distance. The internet may enable us to shorten distances, but actually getting closer still takes time. And effort.

I’ve often wondered what Toffler wrote about, but when Future Shock came out . . . the title and the cover made me not want to read the predictions that he was making. I guess I’m glad I didn’t.

It’s sad the way we make each other invisible. We talk on our cell phones in elevators and invade another’s space as if the other person isn’t there. We say, “I’m sorry but, I’m in a mood so gimme that.” Yes. That’s what I heard yesterday. We don’t hear each other or ourselves anymore, because we don’t know how to still ourselves to listen.

To breathe. to aspire. to inspire. to wonder. The empty calories of small talk connections are sad when I think of the rich texture of stilling ourselves to hear the sounds of what we could be saying.

I’ve noticed this trend over the last decade not just through media but also through the teens who do. Kids that aren’t hooked to the net/tv/ seem more capable of engaging in deeper conversations than a net-connected kid. I spend more time with the latter, having to lay foundations that should have been laid much earlier.

Unfortunately, to allow people to think, to reflect, to cultivate relationships requires a society that isn’t hooked on the “More-is-Better & Faster-is-Better” philosophy.

The potential is great, but the fact is that we just can’t know everyone — just as we can’t read every feed. Yet so many are still determined to try to.

I don’t know where you are, but I’m finding the why . . . why is often disappearing from much of the discussions as we move to “how-to” and what. And frankly the what is faster and easier.

That’s why I’m narrowing a bit to manage myself and my profile. Quality, Schedule, Budget seems to apply in real life too. I’m choosing for quality. It’s sounds like you’re looking to do the same.

But when there’s no substance between “Hi, how are you?” and “Have a nice evening.” with the majority of folks I meet, I find there’s no real relationship. I’m just a face, a person on a list. I want to know people more than that.

I’m interested in what they think — ideas, feelings, experiences — like what you wrote in your comment. That’s the real thing.

Actually it’s a pet peeve of mine and everytime I managed a new bar team it was the first rule, after greeting the guests.
Notice when people leave and thank them (vocally and the whole team) for their visit. Wish them a nice day/evening.

And what do I do nowadays, online? I poke people all day long and return the pokes whenever I have a second. D’uh.

Karin H.

I worried that kids wouldn’t learn to enjoy the connections of thinking long and deep.

I’m with you on this, how can lists or 140 characters teach you how to connect in real life, in real deeper growing friendships and relationships? We need depth, sharing, time and patience for that – no instant bits and bytes, or how-to-do lists. That’s just ticking boxes, not experiencing the joy of connecting – learning ‘how to’ the hard and meaningful way.

Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)