Blog Herald Reader Appeal (TM): help us help Jason Calacanis

Jason Calacanis needs your help. Aside from an appalling sense of style and being the only one beside a pool in Hawaii wearing this many clothes, Jason suffers from a terrible syndrome: pasty white man syndrome, the same disease that affects child molester pop star Michael Jackson. But with your generous support, united, together, we can help Jason cope better with his affliction. Treatments such as fake tanning lotion help sufferers of pasty white man syndrome lead a healthy, normal life without having to cover themselves in appalling garments whilst in Hawaii. To help, please send your donations of fake tanning products to:
The Jason Calacanis Appeal
Weblogs Inc.,
2200 Colorado Avenue, Suite 729, Santa Monica, CA 90404 USA.

Donations are not tax deductible but if you ask very nicely you might be able to land a blog writing gig at Weblogs Inc.

SMH launches Sydney to Hobart Blog

For those of you outside of Australia who don’t know what the Sydney to Hobart is, its a bloody big yacht race which gives the people of Sydney the excuse to go out and watch yachts sail out of Sydney Harbour whilst getting pissed and eating Sausages. For the rest of Australia also tends to watch the event on TV, because they are bored beyond all belief that there is absolutely nothing else on television on boxing day. Some time there after, give or take 3-5 days, the occasional spot of bad weather and people getting thrown overboard, the yachts arrive in Hobart, the capital of Tasmania. The Sydney Morning Herald is blogging the Sydney to Hobart, so now you to can be bored shitless online as well.

Yi Tien Electronics enters the digital home with rsstroom readerâ„¢ personal news delivery system

rss toilet paper
Yi Tien Electronics today announced a breakthrough news delivery system for the restroom. At a press conference, Yi Tien Electronics unveiled the rsstroom reader’„¢, an rss reader for the restroom which prints directly to toilet tissue through RapidResolution® inkjet technology. Complete with wireless connectivity, the rsstroom reader’„¢ will print out up to the minute articles from rss 2.0 and atom newsfeeds. Configurable via web browser*, the rsstroom reader’„¢ can be set up to output an unlimited number of feeds in either sequential, alternating, or random mode. Included with the rsstroom reader’„¢ deluxe package is the biometric seat which allows for customized feed output based on the unique features of users. The biometric seat also allows for tracking & printing the progress of your weight-loss regime.

Yi Tien Electronics also announced the future availability of a commercial version of the rsstroom reader’„¢, a more robust model intended for installation in public restrooms. The commercial model allows advertisers to place customized messages targeted to a specific audience through Yi Tien Electronics’ online subscription service.

(via The Adventures of Teapot the Cat)

Self proclaimed Australian spit roast champion Nigel Gohl under fire for trying to alter book references

Gotta love Australia when people like Nigel Gohl, aka Nige 54, author of a book “Around the World in 80 Babes” can cop a tirade of abuse like this from Hencho in Mexico (warning, contains language):

“I can refer to you by whatever offensive terminology I like without defaming you, seeing as you’re a person of public interest. It’s an offensive term, granted – but calling you a cockhead is not defaming your character or causing you to lose finance or livelihood. It’s my opinion that you’re a cockhead, and I’ve given reasons to substantiate this claim. Unless you want to claim for discrimination for actually having a head that resembles a penis, we have no legal issue here. It’s my opinion that you’re a cockhead. That cockhead comment is published as fair comment, or opinion; therefore there is no legally discernible problem and no legal case to answer.”

Read more about the man who shares his conquests with his friends, often at the same time as he makes them, at The Spin Starts Here, Henco En Mexico and The Supermercado Project. One of the best laughs you’ll have this year. And if you don’t know what a spit roast is, I’m not going to be the one to tell you, this is a PG rated blog.

The Blog Herald to cease publication in 2036 due to gigantic wave

Yep folks, terrible news, in 2036, when I’ll be 60 years old I’ll have to cease writing The Blog Herald after 33 long years, because according to a number of blogs, the earth will be struck by a very large rock: Apophis, a 390-metre wide asteroid. According to reports, the asteroid has a 1 in 5,560 chance of hitting earth, but I’m sure I’ve backed dogs at the Mandurah Greyhounds with longer odds, and they’ve won, so now I’m preparing to build my bunker.

Coverage at Bloggers Blog, Boing Boing, Delaware Watch (naturally it will hit the United States, all asteroids do…), Huge Entity, who asks the appropriate question: what will you be doing when the earth is wiped out, Blogs of War and Mosnews.

Gift guide for blog celebrities

Wondering what to give your favorite blog celebrity for Christmas this year? We’ve put together a little list to help.

Dave Winer: How to Become a Sweet Old Lady Instead of a Grumpy Old Grouch, Grumpy Old Men: The Official Handbook
Adam Curry: Goldilocks on Management: 27 Revisionist Fairy Tales for Serious Managers
Robert Scoble: Fat Men From Space
Nick Denton: Selling Out : The Gay and Lesbian Movement Goes to Market, If You’re Not Out Selling, You’re Being Outsold
Jason Calacanis: The Cat Fights Back, AOL for Dummies
Mena Trott: Everyday Crisis Management: How to Think Like an Emergency Physician
Anil Dash: The Customer Is Always Right!: Thought Provoking Insights on the Importance of Customer Satisfaction from Today’s Business Leaders
Roger L Simon: The Greatest Disaster Stories Ever Told: Seventeen Harrowing Tales
Andy Baio: Wankers’ Guide To Canada
Rebecca Blood: Remington HC-920 Titanium Deluxe Cord/Cordless 23-Piece Haircut Kit

SixApart goes PC

And a Very Merry Christmas to all the staff at SixApart, I’m sure your kiddies wont miss Christmas at all. As for holidays….well a few of your customers have told me you’ve been on holidays most of the year given how crap their hostings been.

Your Podcast can be hijacked

Fresh from value the Druge Report at $120 million USD, Om Malik warns of a terrible new danger to Americans as part of the war on terror: your podcast can be hijacked. Osama Bin Laden has had enough of Adam Curry and is going to hijack his show. Whether or not he will subsequently be hailed as a hero and awarded a full pardon for 9/11 is yet to be seen, but is shortening in odds.

Report: RSS Is a Target for Worms

wormsGot to love this headline from Steve Rubel Report: RSS Is a Target for Worms. Perhaps now I’m 30 maybe I’m regressing to 15 but all I could think of was that Dave Winer must have forgotten to take his worm tables again and his toilet bowl is showing the affects. But I couldn’t make jokes about RSS and worms without finishing it off in really poor taste, because there is a solution to worms: an Atom bomb :-)