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Like meatloaf through a straw, these are the days of Gawker Media

Like meatloaf through a straw, these are the days of Gawker Media

Proving the fact that the reporters can sometimes come the reported, the adage has now been applied to the happy family at Gawker Media, who this week try to follow the script to the soap opera Days of our Lives, with colourful characters, accusations, a “gay fight” and a pie.

In the first 10 minutes of our 1/2 hour soap opera the picture zooms to the launch of Radar Magazine, billed as “The Greatest American Magazine Launch”. Along with the normal B-List hangers-on and Radar employees, colourful Gawker Media owner Nick Denton was in attendance as well. Nothing unusual you may think, but alas the folks at Radar weren’t too happy with Denton following three weeks of coverage given to the preparations for the magazines launch.

What happened next, we’ll leave to Gawker itself:

“publicity guru Nadine Johnson fetched Gawker publisher Nick Denton to have a word with the Roshan of Honor. As Nick and Maer leaned in for the showy ‘€œno hard feelings’€? talk, one of Johnson’€™s lackeys sent a pie flying at Denton’€™s head. The throw was a dud, however, merely grazing the blog queen’€™s hair. Denton’€™s response? Pouring his glass of wine on Roshan’€™s head. GAY FIGHT!!! (Sadly, no one ended up in the pool, so we suppose it was only a marginally gay fight.)”

Further versions of the scene, still be considered for the soap opera, can be found at Jossip and the Gothamist as well.

But wait, there’s more!
The second 10 minutes of our soap opera features Gawker co-guest-editor “K. Eric Walters”, who is actually Newsweek staffer Michael Hastings, who is sleeping with FishbowlNY‘s Rachel Sklar. If you’ve ever been confused sexually you probably will be after the sex scenes in our soap opera that show what bloggers get up to under the sheets. The dialogue is even better;
Michael: “Nick was really tough today, he gave me a spanking and said I was a very naughty boy”
Rachel: spank me honey like you did after your 10th post
Michael: but dearest, you smell like fish

The next 9 minutes goes from bed talk to serious ethics talk, with Andrew Krucoff raising allegations Nick Denton and Gawker Media’s Managing Editor Lockhart Steele are paying Chris Gage to write an anonymous blog, Gawkerist, billed as “A Gawker Media Style Blog About Gawker Media Blog Style.”

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A stern Andrew Krucoff, standing in front of the Brooklyn bridge, says menacingly “This is lying, this is deception, this is a giant dump on transparency where a bowlful of black beans have covered and obscured the monitor screen like sticky tar.”

But it wouldn’t be a good American soap opera without a token Republican and an Australian. Krucoff challenges myself and Jeff Jarvis from Buzzmachine to “cry out and demand the heads of these ethically-challenged liars to be chopped off the blogging block? ”

The climax comes with the dramatic scene of Choire Sicha leaving Gawker Media’s Tabloid Blog Sploid for The New York Observer, after muttering sweet nothings into Rachel Sklar’s ear at FishBowlNY.

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