Middle America Mothers call for blogging to be banned
A new group calling itself Mothers Opposed to Blogging (MOB) has called on the United States Government to impose an immediate ban on blogs and blogging due to the damage it is causing to American teens, including a massive rise in literacy, communication skills, and understanding that the world doesn’t stop at the Canadian and Mexican borders.
Mary-Jo Imsougleeicantagetalaid and Mary-Sue Churchalot told the Blog Herald that their children had starting using blogs from the age of 14 and that things had slid down hill from there.
“they…communicate with each other and they gossip…and they talk about sex and drugs and african american people” said Mary-Jo. “My daughter even learned a Japanese word the other day a granpoppy weren’t to none impr-essed wid it”.
Mary-Sue said blogging was the work of the devil and should be cast out from American society, along with “faggots, abortionists and people who drive German cars”
“Them blogs are teaching our kids to wead and write, and that just ain damn right” she said. “No com-pu-ter is going to tell my 18 kids how to do such things”.
Ask about recent reports that most teen bloggers only shared their blogs with friends, the Reverend Ilikekiddies, who is providing legal advice to the group, told the Blog Herald that this was the problem.
“You know” said the Reverend “thats the worst thing about them. We thought we had our children sufficiently drugged on ADHD medication so they wouldn’t talk about stuff to each other and wouldn’t scream in church…and now they go out and talk to each other online? what next, celibacy for catholic priests?”.
The group cited a recent statement from Mahammed Iliketoblowshitupalot, who is alleged to be the spokesperson for the militant Islamic group the Bloggers Liberation Front, who was suppose to have said the following in relation to blogs:
“The will of Allah has bought upon this plague of blogs so that the Western infidel children will revolt against authority and join us in the spreading of the Islamic blogging revolution”
Mary-Sue said this was evidence that blogging was a plot.
“those them towel heads in Arabia are out to get our children, and da Prezident has got to put a stop to it” said said. “And its about time we started dropping nukes on blogging companies…that David Sify might look nice in his photograph but we all know he’s really with Al Quida and working that Osama fellow. Technorati is really “Long Live Allah” in secret code”.
Is this a joke? I hope so but I can’t fully understand. bye
Thanks, that was good fun for a Friday! Love the names.
This is when I’m embarrased to be from America. Can we start a group of American’s against middle american mom’s against blogging. I call for the ban on banning blogs and instead ask that parents actually take the time to learn what their kids are doing instead of asking other people to watch them.
Ugh. I do hope this is a joke!
For the humor-impaired… ” This entry was posted on Friday, November 4th, 2005 and is filed under Satire-Humour.” :)
Duncan, Duncan, I almost spilled my drink reading this! Thank you for a great laugh
Mary-Jo Imsougleeicantagetalaid – that’s good, she won’t propogate more like herself.
I helped my son start a blog. So far there has been no moral decay.
The first two sentences got me reading… the rest got me laughing. Thanks