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Tell your wife to cut out the blog right now

Tell your wife to cut out the blog right now

We’ve categorised this humour but it may well be legitimate: from the “Dear Harriette” Column in the Detroit Free Press
Dear Harriette: When my wife gets mad at me, she writes on her Web site what I did wrong that day. We are in counseling, but sometimes my words will be twisted around on the site. She tells me not to go to the site, but I know one of our neighbors does and I want to know what is being said about me on a public Web site. Any advice? Tom, Texas

Tom: Is nothing sacred anymore? Like you, I would be outraged if my spouse revealed details of our life together — conflicts or triumphs — in a public forum without my blessing. Have you discussed this with your therapist? This is a topic that may best be addressed with the support of a neutral, professional party.

My advice is that the two of you make the effort to talk directly to one another about your disagree3ments. You and your wife may also want to keep individual journals in which you write candidly about your feelings.

What works about personal journals is that they are private. Posting thoughts and feelings about your spouse on a Web site is unkind and destructive. Such an action dismantles any bond of intimacy that the two of you may have, especially since the postings reveal challenges in your marriage.

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Ask your wife to stop immediately. By all means, check her Web site to see if she complies. If she does not, you have a much bigger issue on your hands. The level of trust and respect in your relationship is at an all-time low. In order to salvage your bond, the two of you must come to terms with what is confidential and what is not. Again, I strongly recommend therapy as a tool to help you find your way.

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