‘Twas The Blog Before Christmas…

Filed as Editorial on December 24, 2009 7:59 pm


Twas the blog before Christmas,
When all through the server
Not a spam bot was stirring,
Not even a flammer

The template was all designed with care,
In hopes that a blog update would soon appear.

The editors had written articles ahead
While visions of paychecks danced in their heads
I tweeted geeks both familiar and unknown
And Facebooked loved ones on my iPhone

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter,
I logged into the server to see what was the matter.
The site was crawling at a very slow pace
Was I just Digged by the entire human race?

I checked Google Analytics to see my stats
It pulled yesterday’s report, so that ended that
For I needed to see why my blog was so slow
So I loaded up Sitemeter in order to know

But the stats revealed nothing out of the blue
So I shouted “It must be hacker–or two!”
I checked the IP logs to find an anomoly
But all the addresses were pointing back at me

Then a thought occured that made me dread
“They’re hotlinking my image, in order to embed
A photo of mine without giving me credit
Stealing my bandwidth instead of using Photobucket”

But the server reported that this wasn’t so
Making me frantic (for I needed to know)
“If it wasn’t hackers, hotlinkers or Digg traffic
Then what was making my blog catastraphic!”

I posted on forums, seeking wisdom and advice
Then who should appear Guru Ma.tt (who’s nice)
He gave me a emoticon wink, plus a grin
And said “Did you forget to check your plugins?”

The wisdom was perfect! I had been a fool
To ignore the plugins that I use as a tool
To enhance my blog beyond it’s design
That could be increasing the page loading time

Many minutes later the culprit was found
A plugin that updated that wasn’t sound
That caused my weblog to load half way
So I deactivated the plugin without delay

And now the blog loads up quick and fast
So the readers can enjoy great content at last
And now I can go to bed, shouting with delight
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Happy Holidays from everyone here at Splashpress Media, and of course the Blog Herald!

Tags:

This post was written by

You can visit the for a short bio, more posts, and other information about the author.


Submissions & Subscriptions

Submit the post to Reddit, StumbleUpon, Digg or Del.icio.us.

Did you like it? Then subscribe to our RSS feed!



  1. By The Net Fool posted on December 25, 2009 at 6:36 am
    Want an avatar? Get a gravatar! • You can link to this comment

    Thanks for the holiday wishes! I love your poem, haha, very creative idea for blogging on Christmas! Check out The Net Fool for the top five holiday-induced websites for 2009, there are definitely some fun sites to check out :)

    Reply

  2. By Emz@IndoTravel posted on December 25, 2009 at 10:03 am
    Want an avatar? Get a gravatar! • You can link to this comment

    Wish you all and happy holiday….
    Like your post and really creative.

    Reply

  3. By mathan posted on December 25, 2009 at 3:56 pm
    Want an avatar? Get a gravatar! • You can link to this comment

    The poem which you written immersed me to read very much.
    You totally cover basic web with poem.[which each blogger using daily]
    Oh! Finally he find the problems due to plugin and resolve it.

    Reply

  4. By Laura posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:47 pm
    Want an avatar? Get a gravatar! • You can link to this comment

    Happy New Year! Excellent holiday post. I haven’t seen anyone else put that much work into one. :)

    Reply

  5. By Nyssa posted on January 27, 2010 at 4:08 am
    Want an avatar? Get a gravatar! • You can link to this comment

    Loved the poem! I hope you have had a very enjoyable holiday season :)

    Reply

  6. By adijuh posted on February 7, 2010 at 7:49 am
    Want an avatar? Get a gravatar! • You can link to this comment

    Thank you very match!!! Add to favorites

    Reply

    Your words are your own, so be nice and helpful if you can. If this is the first time you're posting a comment, it might go into moderation. Don't worry, it's not lost, so there's no need to repost it! We accept clean XHTML in comments, but don't overdo it please.

    Current day month ye@r *