The template was all designed with care,
In hopes that a blog update would soon appear.
The editors had written articles ahead
While visions of paychecks danced in their heads
I tweeted geeks both familiar and unknown
And Facebooked loved ones on my iPhone
When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter,
I logged into the server to see what was the matter.
The site was crawling at a very slow pace
Was I just Digged by the entire human race?
I checked Google Analytics to see my stats
It pulled yesterday’s report, so that ended that
For I needed to see why my blog was so slow
So I loaded up Sitemeter in order to know
But the stats revealed nothing out of the blue
So I shouted “It must be hacker–or two!”
I checked the IP logs to find an anomoly
But all the addresses were pointing back at me
Then a thought occured that made me dread
“They’re hotlinking my image, in order to embed
A photo of mine without giving me credit
Stealing my bandwidth instead of using Photobucket”
But the server reported that this wasn’t so
Making me frantic (for I needed to know)
“If it wasn’t hackers, hotlinkers or Digg traffic
Then what was making my blog catastraphic!”
I posted on forums, seeking wisdom and advice
Then who should appear Guru Ma.tt (who’s nice)
He gave me a emoticon wink, plus a grin
And said “Did you forget to check your plugins?”
The wisdom was perfect! I had been a fool
To ignore the plugins that I use as a tool
To enhance my blog beyond it’s design
That could be increasing the page loading time
Many minutes later the culprit was found
A plugin that updated that wasn’t sound
That caused my weblog to load half way
So I deactivated the plugin without delay
And now the blog loads up quick and fast
So the readers can enjoy great content at last
And now I can go to bed, shouting with delight
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
Happy Holidays from everyone here at Splashpress Media, and of course the Blog Herald!
Author: Darnell Clayton
Darnell Clayton is a geek who discovered blogging long before he heard of the word “blog” (he called them “web journals” then).
When he is not tweeting, friendfeeding, or blogging about space, he enjoys running, reading and describing himself in third person.